Downtown – Today, a team of professionals imploded the former headquarters of LifeWay, one of the largest retailers of Christian items such as bibles, motivational posters, and music by Christian versions of the bands you actually like. LifeWay sold the property two years ago, and recently moved into its new home less than a mile away.
A camera crew had set up to film the largest implosion in recent Nashville history, but was unfortunately bamboozled by one of the city’s lamented Pedal Taverns – a bar on wheels often filled with screaming bachelorette parties. Just as the building was set to come down, the mobile watering hole pulled in front of the camera’s field of view and stopped so that one of the riders could, according to sources, “puke and rally”.
In related news, a small group of protestors turned out for the implosion, claiming to be part of the “LifeWay Truther Movement”. They brandished signs with slogans such as “LifeWay was an inside job”, “Bush did LifeWay” and “Jet Fuel Can’t Melt Jesus”.