Definitive Guide to the "Side Stage Humblebrag"

Definitive Guide to the “Side Stage Humblebrag”

humblebrag

DOWNTOWN – Listen, a great Side Stage Humblebrag isn’t just a picture of a band on your Instagram. It’s a declaration to your hundreds of loyal social media followers that you are pretty much Bon fucking Jovi right now. Those fans came from all over to see you stand on the side of the stage in front of the drummer’s mom, taking photos on your iPhone 5s – Don’t let them down! Use this handy guide to make sure you get the most out of your 15 minutes of fame. 

  1. First, take a moment to gaze upon the masses of sweaty, general-admission peasants out there. Gross.
  2. When framing your shot, make sure to capture a little of the band, and a LOT of your loyal crowd.
  3. Take the spotlight off of you for a moment to say something about the performer. While this is really your moment, it feels good to take the selfless high road sometimes. “Jason Isbell crushing it at Bonnaroo!” or “One of the best dudes in the industry” are good examples! 
  4. If you’re in the music industry, this would be the ideal time to bust out your favorite humblebrag lie of a hashtag, “#LoveMyJob”.
  5. Posting a video? Great! There’s nothing people love more than hearing their favorite song played live, recorded on your iPhone from behind the speakers, compressed to hell when uploaded to Facebook, then played back over an iPhone speaker!

With these quick tips, you should be well on your way to amassing dump trucks full of respect and admiration amongst your peers, and from all the idiots you went to high school with that you’re still friends with on Facebook for whatever reason.

Jerry Dawson

Jerry Dawson

A self-proclaimed world-renowned journalist with a penchant for fine wine and a knack for "getting to the bottom of things". When I'm not covering Nashville's news, you can usually find me catching a cool sports match on TV at Tin Roof!

7 Comments
  1. This feels like a really bad diary entry from someone who is not so secretly insecure about where their own career has taken them…

    1. This feels like a really bad comment from a similarly insecure somebody who thinks their really bad Broadway bar band should have headlined CMA Fest. Looking forward to seeing your side stage pics on #socialmedia soon!!!

  2. The better bands clear liggers from the side of stage.
    Its not the place to see or hear a band.
    Plus you look like a tit to the public out front.

  3. That reminds me of this one time my sister’s roommate’s friend’s third grade teacher’s uncle was the roadie for 98 Degrees. He got me in to help load amps to the stage. Got some rawkin side-stage photos. Used a sweet Kelvin filter on IG to really make it pop. #lovemyjob

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